Jeroen Sangers

November is the month in which I massively unsubscribe.

My personal rule is simple: if you send me a Black Friday offer, I unsubscribe immediately.

Why such a drastic rule

It’s not that I hate offers. It’s that Black Friday has become something that goes far beyond a day of discounts. Now it’s an entire month of constant bombardment, artificial urgency, inboxes saturated with messages screaming “LAST CHANCE!” when we know there will be another “last chance” tomorrow.

When a brand I trust decides to participate in this circus, it’s telling me something about its priorities. It’s telling me it prefers noise over value, the quick transaction over the lasting relationship.

And I prefer silence.

The hidden cost of attention

Every email I open, every notification I read, every offer I evaluate costs me something. It costs me attention, that resource we all say is limited but treat as if it were infinite.

The brands I respect understand this. They don’t abuse my inbox. They don’t confuse frequency with relevance. They don’t assume that more communication equals better communication.

Those that participate in Black Friday have made a decision: they prefer volume over precision. And that’s fine, it’s their strategy. But I also make a decision: I prefer less noise in my life.

A way of voting with attention

Unsubscribing isn’t an act of rebellion. It’s simply coherence.

If I say I value my time and attention, but allow any brand to interrupt me whenever it suits them, I’m lying. I’m letting others decide what deserves my attention, instead of deciding it myself.

Every time I unsubscribe during November, I’m voting. I’m saying: “I prefer brands that respect me over brands that chase me.” I’m choosing quality over quantity, intention over opportunism.

What really interests me

I don’t need more offers. I need fewer things that truly matter.

I don’t need discounts on products I don’t want. I need clarity about what I do want.

I don’t need artificial urgency. I need space to think.

The brands that understand this don’t need Black Friday. They build value every day of the year, not just when the calendar gives them permission to shout louder than everyone else.

And those are the brands that stay in my inbox.

We all have different ways of processing our thoughts. My wife thinks by talking; whenever she needs clarity, she starts a conversation with me or whoever’s nearby. It’s her version of the programmer’s “rubber duck debugging” method.

In contrast, many personal knowledge management experts insist the best thinking happens through writing. Their standard advice: “To think clearly, write it down.”

My mind works differently from both approaches. I’m not effective at thinking while speaking. When I try, my speech becomes awkward, filled with hesitations and lacking structure.

My process is sequential: first I think, then I speak. I need to mentally prepare what I’m going to say. Only then can I express myself with clarity and organization.

With writing, something similar occurs. Before writing any text, I construct it completely in my mind. I review ideas, identify inconsistencies, and refine the structure. When I finally write, the text is already essentially finished in my head.

I don’t think while writing; the thinking has already happened. My mental clarity doesn’t emerge from the act of speaking or writing, but from the time I dedicate to processing ideas internally.

This doesn’t mean my wife thinks better by talking or that experts think better by writing. I simply recognize that my best thinking happens in silence, within my mind, before any external expression.

An Inipi ritual is a traditional cleansing ceremony originally from the Lakota Indians of North America. The name “Inipi” means “to receive life again” and refers to the main goal of this ceremony: cleansing the body, mind, and soul. In the Netherlands, this ritual is also known as the sweat lodge ceremony. Although this specific form comes from the Lakota, similar rituals with hot stones have existed for thousands of years worldwide— from the Finnish sauna to ancient Irish sweat lodges, remains of which have been found by archaeologists dating back more than 10,000 years.

The ceremony takes place in a low, dome-shaped hut built of willow branches and covered with blankets. In the center of the hut, a pit is dug where glowing hot stones are placed, brought in from a ceremonial fire outside. When participants sit in the dark hut, water is poured over the hot stones, creating intense steam and heat. The ritual usually consists of four rounds, each with its own theme, such as welcome, connection, prayer, or thanksgiving. During these rounds, people sing, pray, or sit in silence.

The Inipi ritual goes far beyond mere physical cleansing, as in a regular sauna. It is intended as a spiritual experience where people connect with ‘All That Is’ and can experience the power of gratitude. The hut symbolizes the womb of Mother Earth, and the entire process represents rebirth and healing. Participants use this time to let go of their daily worries, give attention to those in need, and achieve personal growth and insight. The ceremony concludes with the expression “Mitakuye Oyasin,” meaning “we are all related,” emphasizing the interconnectedness of all life.

Related:

• Spiritual and social values make us happier than self-interest

Research shows that not all interruptions during your work have the same effect. There is an important difference between work-related and non-work-related interruptions.

Work-related interruptions (such as your manager stopping by to ask about a task, or a colleague messaging you about a project you’re working on together) actually have a positive effect on how engaged you feel during your workday. This goes against the common belief that all interruptions are bad for your productivity. Work-related interruptions don’t break your concentration; instead, they help you stay more connected to your work and colleagues.

Non-work-related interruptions (just chatting about the weather, sports, or what you’re going to eat tonight) do have the negative effect you might expect: they make you less engaged and disrupt your work rhythm so much that it really gets in the way of your work.

Related:

• Interruptions aren’t intrinsically distinct from other events, they’re just events most professionals don’t want around. The distinction is in our head.
• Messy work environments have no effect on either creativity or executive functions

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